


Unexpected

by TinderWulf



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-03 22:53:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinderWulf/pseuds/TinderWulf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hackett's emotional journey through Shepard's death and rebirth from his POV. </p><p>Will he gain the courage to tell her how he feels?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a product of boredom. Hopefully you enjoy the read!
> 
> Please ignore typos or grammar errors. Not beta read.

It was always the same feeling he got when he saw her in person. His heart clenched, he sucked in a silent breath, and there were butterflies in his stomach. Then his fingertips always tingled.

“Admiral Hackett, a pleasure to see you.”

“Likewise, Commander. Congratulations on becoming the first human spectre,” he offered cordially.

She laughed softly, “Thank you, Sir.” She continued on her way to greet other officials, her dress uniform blending into the crowd easily. 

This gathering was for her, though Hackett knew it couldn't have been her idea. Special forces tended to dislike being the center of attention. 

“How do you think she's holding up?” Anderson spoke as he handed a glass of champagne off to his old friend.

“I think she'd rather be under the mako repairing the brake lines again.”

“I told Udina this wasn't a good idea.” Anderson sighed.

“Ah.” Of course it was Udina. “I will agree, Admiral. She is looking...rigid.” The men looked at each other and chuckled. “Twenty credits says she cloaks and escapes in the next hour.” 

“You're on, Steven.”

Thirty six minutes later Hackett was collecting his winnings. 

“She's a spectre now.”

“And?” Hackett replied, knowing what was coming.

“ _And_ you should make a move.”

Hackett suppressed a groan, “She's got a lot on her plate. She doesn't need an old man added to it.”

Anderson looked at him blankly. “If you don't, someone else will.”

* * *

Someone else did. The asari scientist, Liara, and Alenko both approached the Commander. Hackett didn't know whom Shepard chose, however, just that they'd both showed interest. 

The pain and jealousy he felt wasn't surprising. Worse, he'd been working up the courage to tell her. But it hadn't been the right time, it never seemed like the right time. _There's a nuclear weapon from the First Contact War we need you to recover, and oh, by the way....I'm in love with you._ Then there really wasn't time after Virmire, and Udina's betraying Shepard. _Then_ hearing Anderson got arrested by C-Sec was followed by being locked out of Citadel space by Saren.

No word on Shepard. For hours.

Within moments of the Normandy taking point, Hackett heard her orders broadcast over the fleets emergency channel. The Citadel arms opened and the Spectre gave the order to save the council at all costs. Hackett didn't have all the information for him to make a different order, so he accepted Shepard's. No doubt Udina and his lackey's would try to take over the council if the current members didn't survive.

Then more hours of waiting for word on Shepard. A piece of Sovereign had hit the tower...where Shepard and her squad had been. Hackett's staff were becoming more and more tense as his fear made him stiff and irritable. They said nothing, they were professionals.

“I want any undamaged Alliance ships on patrol. Heavily damaged ships are to dock and the ships crews are to help dig out survivors.”

“Aye, Sir,” the corporal stated with a salute.

“Sir! Admiral Anderson is requesting you on your private channel.”

Finally. “I'll take it in my office.”

“Aye, Sir!”

The door swished closed and locked behind him. “David.” 

[She's pretty banged up.] Getting right to the point. [She somehow managed to survive a piece of Sovereign landing on top of her.] Anderson sighed as he rubbed a hand over his tired face. [She fainted as soon as the medic began looking her over.]

“Concussion?”

[Yeah. From what I understood when she was conscious, her shoulder and arm was pinned under debris. The fall to the ground, even with her helmet on, caused the concussion. There are also fractured ribs, over-exerted muscles, exhaustion...]

Hackett slouched in his seat. “But she's okay?”

[Yes.]

“Thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Hackett was awakened suddenly, [Sir, we've got an emergency signal coming in. The Normandy is under attack, sustaining heavy damage.]

He dressed quickly, walking quickly to the CIC. Officers never run. “Report.”

“There are no more transmissions coming from the Normandy, Sir.” The analyst looked at Hackett with such a pitiful look before he continued. “Sir, the Normandy is gone. An S.O.S. beacon was launched just before the communications were cut off.”

Fear clenched in his gut. “Life pods?”

“I'm showing that most of the pods launched.”

“Get ships out there now and recover our people.” Recover my spectre.

“Aye, Sir!”

Hours felt like days as he waited for anything regarding the Normandy and her crew. Every report of a life pod being opened only left him feeling more empty as Shepard had yet to turn up. 

“Another life pod was located, Sir.” A few of Hackett's crew looked at him in sympathy and hope. Those few having been with him for years and seeming to know of his feelings for a certain marine. It was the young redhead sobbing in the corner that made something break inside of him.

“Chambers, report.”

“Sir...” the young woman sobbed, “...the pilot reports to have seen the ship's captain go down with the ship.”

Silence other than the continued sobbing of the woman listening to the reports coming in. No one moved as they were hit with the news. The amazing Commander Shepard dead. KIA against an unknown enemy.

No. Just....no. “List Commander Shepard as missing in action.”

“Aye, Sir,” his long-time crewman whispered.

He kept up his professional facade through the rest of the day though he was shattering inside. Nausea rolled in his stomach while his heart felt like it was being crushed into embers. Emptiness. Complete emptiness. He was numb. Grief and shock hit him from all sides, though his face didn't show anything. His emotions were at war inside of him.

For the next week Hackett waited for word that the Commander had once again survived the insanity. Instead, Anderson personally delivered the charred dog tags of his beloved. Only then did Hackett let himself mourn. To believe she was gone. He refused to list her as KIA, however. 

During the day he worked non-stop. Only the few that had been with him for so long knew that he was hurting. It was the small things that made them notice, Hackett was sure. Forgetting to eat, needing to be told something twice, and the weight loss. Things regular people wouldn't really see in their commanding officer.

At night, he drank as he watched any vid of her he could get his hands on. First it was the vids from her files. Helmet cam footage of Shepard in action. When he ran out of those, Hackett began searching the extranet for anything. When those didn't produce anything other than her stoic professionalism, Hackett drank more. 

Until one day, about a year after her death, Hackett got an odd email from Liara. Then Anderson.

Liara's encrypted message held timestamped holo's of a person completely covered in medical equipment and a sheet. Nothing could be seen really. Nothing except a flash of familiar hair. Anger filled him. What was that asari doing to Shepard's remains? Hackett wasn't sure how long he stared at the holo's trying to understand. There were no words in the message, just the attachments. 

Some days later, a banging on his door startled him out his blank state. He walked to the door, his body stiff and aching from inactivity. 

Pressing the intercom, “Report.”

[It's Anderson. Let me in.]

Hackett closed his eyes. Some warning would have been nice. He would have at least showered. And not opened the new bottle of whiskey, courtesy of an old friend. With a sigh he opened the door. 

“You look like hell.”

“Nice to see you too.”

“Cut the crap, Steven. I've been trying to reach you for a week.” Had it been that long since he got the holo's? Anderson continued as soon as the door lock glowed red. “You're going to need to sit down for this.”

An hour later Hackett sat dumbstruck. The person in the holo's _was_ Shepard. He hadn't been wrong in his assumption. Cerberus was bringing her back. The holo's were proof of brain activity and her heart beating on its own. But David warned him that Shepard may not remember anything...or worse, she'd just be a shell.

“How can we trust Cerberus with her?”

“The reaper threat is real, the Illusive Man knows this. Shepard is the only one with the knowledge and power to do something about it. He wants her back just as she was. The same personality, the same memories, the same morals...”

“But how can we be sure?”

“We test her at some point.” Hackett nodded in agreement. “I've taken the liberty of making a few trusted personnel...desirable...to the Illusive Man's cause. Some I know that will be utterly loyal to Shepard even if she doesn't know it.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Not at this point, no.” There was several minutes of silence before Anderson spoke again. “Even if this is unsuccessful, she wouldn't want you doing this to yourself.”

“You know this how?” Hackett spat before instantly regretting it. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. But you know I'm right.” Anderson slapped him on the shoulder. “I have to go now. Shepard made me Councilor for a reason. I can't let her down.”

* * *

When Hackett awoke the following morning, it was to the holo of Shepard on his nightstand. One that one of her crew had taken during their chase for Saren. But today... today her smirk felt like it was just for him and her eyes twinkled with fire and determination, seeming to say: “What road are you choosing today, Admiral?”

_Any road that leads me to you._

Those few long-time crew noticed his change immediately. He stood taller –confident, he ate with a renewed vigor, and his eyes shone with purpose.

Admiral Steven Hackett was back.


	3. Chapter 3

Every three months Liara sent him an encrypted message containing a holo or two. Every new one gave him more hope. It was dangerous to hope like this, when _she_ was still sleeping. 

Scrolling down, another attachment caught his attention. A video, approximately fifteen seconds in length. Against his better judgment, he pushed play.

\--

_-{...she's reacting to outside stimuli! My God, Miranda, she's waking up!}-_

_[Damn it Wilson, she isn't ready! Hold on, Commander, try not to move. Your scars haven't healed yet.]_

_-{...in the red! We're losing her!}-_

_[Another dose, now!]..._

– 

She woke up, he thought. Some of her was still there, it had to be. _She_ had to be. Hackett sat back in his chair as he released a huff of air. _Some of her was still there._

Not knowing what else to do, he forwarded it to Anderson. Though, it was highly likely he was getting the same messages. He got a reply almost immediately.

–

_David: I've been getting them too. My contact is saying another 2-4 months._

_Steven: What happens after confirmation?_

_David: We wait._

– 

And wait he did. He was a professional at waiting after all. That's all he seemed to do in this job position is wait. Wait for reports, for numbers, for information from his fleets movements. Waiting had turned him into a very patient man.

Until now. 

Rumors began to circulate. Then...a request to detain Shepard on Omega where she made an appearance with a beat up turian and a mutilated human bounty hunter. _Zaeed, my old friend._ Hackett denied the request of course. There were more important things at the moment and that was the disappearance of human colonies. 

Anderson began sending Hackett progress reports. 

And for his own selfish need to contact her, to see if she was still _her_ , he sent her information regarding the Normandy's final resting place. He had the twenty dogtags within forty-eight hours, including any holo's or vids of the deceased from her previous crews personal albums. How she'd managed to do that, Hackett didn't know. He did know that she still cared for her people.

An incoming call pulled him away from the holo's he'd been viewing.

“Hackett.”

Not bothering with greetings, Anderson dove right in. [She just left here.]

“And?”

[She seems like herself. Asking about her previous crew were the first words she said after the council meeting. She didn't even care that her spectre status was reinstated.]

Hackett chuckled roughly, “Sounds like her.”

[Yeah.]

“She sent me the dogtags of her crew along with holo's of them when they were serving on the Normandy.”

[Her crew was always her family. Is always....that'll take some getting used to again.]

Not for him. “More waiting?”

[Yes.]

* * *

Anderson began forwarding Shepard's reports. Shepard went out of her way to deliver her reports in person to Anderson to avoid any Cerberus snooping. What Shepard didn't know was that Chambers went out of her way to secure the Commander's privacy. 'To better help with Shepard's mental well-being because of her distrust of Cerberus.' Well, that was what Chambers told Ms. Lawson anyway. Better safe than sorry on a Cerberus ship.

*~*~*~*

> _Shepard keeps to herself most of the time. Having Doctor Chakwas and Mr. Moreau on board is definitely a plus for the commander's mental state. Gaining Garrus Vakarian was another._
> 
> _...I still don't know what to make of the tank-bred krogan, Grunt, that Shepard just released from the tank he was grown in. We are on our way now to pick up the convict, Jack._
> 
> _I am concerned for Shepard at this time. If she isn't working, she stays in her cabin. Rarely has she been seen going to talk to anyone but those that served on the previous Normandy._

*~*~*~*

Hackett didn't like the sound of that. Shepard had never been so...reclusive before. Especially where her crew was concerned. Of course it was likely she didn't know that her crew was hand picked by the Illusive Man because of their loyalty to Shepard. A mistake on his part. Perhaps if Chambers casually let Shepard know...


	4. Chapter 4

A few weeks later, the reports of Shepard were more promising. Chambers reported, as well as Anderson's contact, that Shepard had personally seen to the ships cuisine, a coupling for the engineers, and learned each person's name. She was now regularly making rounds towards the end of her shift.

All good news. 

As for Hackett, he was borrowing Anderson's guest room as he enjoyed a week of shore leave. Though 'enjoying' was an exaggeration. 

“They do have guest suites for high-ranking military officials,” Hackett stated. 

Anderson didn't reply to it and Hackett didn't expect him to. It was the same conversation they had every time they shared a suite or apartment. Normally it was Anderson that started it when he was using Hackett's guest room on Arcturus. 

“I may have heard that Shepard's ship is docking in a few hours. Could be a good time to see if she's busy.”

“Everything okay?”

“It was a planned shore leave, but from what Joker says...the last mission was pretty rough.” When Hackett didn't speak Anderson continued. “Illusive Man sent them into a trap. A collector ship. The same ship that killed her a few years ago. The very same ship from Horizon.”

Dread made his stomach feel heavy. “That can't be a coincidence.”

“It's not. “Harbinger” can take control of any collector and when it does, it goes specifically for Shepard. Calling her by name.”

Chills ran up the back of Hackett's neck, “Why?”

“I think Harbinger is a reaper and that the reapers fear Shepard at some level.”

“But why would they fear her? They've existed for millions of years for all we know and Shepard is thirty-one.”

“I don't know, Steven,” Anderson said tiredly, his shoulders slumping as he sunk into the couch. “If she isn't one-hundred percent before this 'suicide' mission, I fear she won't make it back. The odds are already slim.”

It was something Hackett tried not to think about.

“You should do it. Just ask her to dinner.”

Hackett chuckled dryly, “Oh yes, because she can't wait to date a man twenty years her senior.” 

“She won't stay single forever.”

“There are plenty of men her age, David.”

“True enough, but not many that are willing to accept that she is raising a full-grown krogan, is a member of a krogan clan, and has no problem headbutting the stupid out of anyone.”

Steven silently admitted that the picture of a small female and large krogan doing parent-child activities would be something he would love to see. Jane could tame anyone it seemed.

“And that full-grown krogan is a bit protective of his 'Battlemaster',” Anderson added.

* * *

As fate, or Anderson, would have it, he ran into her. Literally. He was entering Zakera Cafe as Shepard was leaving with her nose buried in a bookpad. 

“Commander,” he said, his heart thundering in his ears when the scent of vanilla invaded his personal space as well as her body.

“Sir! I'm sorry, I was reading and walking whi...”

“Battlemaster,” Grunt interrupted gruffly as he pulled Shepard back out of Hackett's space, “Is this human bothering you?”

Shepard opened her mouth to speak as her face reddened but Hackett beat her to words.“You must be Grunt, I'm Admiral Steven Hackett.” Hackett said diplomatically, offering a hand to the young male. 

The krogan didn't return the shake until after Shepard lightly elbowed his arm. “Grunt,” she whispered.

Reluctantly Grunt shook Hackett's hand. “Your scar looks like my clan leaders.”

“Urdnot Wrex? I'll take that as a compliment.”

“Can we go now?” Grunt grumbled as his weight swayed back and forth. “I want more ramen.”

Hackett was disappointed that the meeting was already over though he didn't let it show. Soon the scent of vanilla was gone, just as the flower that left it behind.

He couldn't even remember what he'd come to the spice shop for.

* * *

Later that evening, Anderson and Hackett ran into Shepard and party at the movie theater. From the looks of it, Shepard was being dragged.

“I'm sorry,” the ticket salesman called out. “Sold out all but one movie. _Citadel_ only available showing left until two hours from now!” The salarian called out over the wolf-whistles directed at a red-faced Shepard.

“Let's do this another time!” Shepard said loudly before turning to escape only to be blocked by Garrus Vakarian and Zaeed Massani.

“I dunno, Shepard. I heard _Citadel_ was a very factual representation of our chase for Saren.”

“Yeah, Shepard. Don't be such a goddam pussy.”

Defeated, Shepard turned around to address the remaining crew, all smiling with their prey in sight. “How many other people are viewing this?”

The salarian returned his attention to her, “None. Old movie.”

“I'd like to rent out the entire theater for this movie please.”

Judging by the decibel level of the hollers and whoops, it was a good call. Shepard then turned her attention to the older gentlemen on the sidelines. “Anderson, Admiral, you are more than welcome to join us. I warn you that they are likely to be...rambunctious.”

Hackett grunted when Anderson slapped him on the shoulder, “We'd love to, Shepard.”


	5. Chapter 5

Snacks were bought by all before the group moved on to their assigned theater. The employees behind the counters looked utterly exhausted as Shepard exited behind the rest of her crew. 

Shepard took charge as soon as they entered the empty theater. A whistle then, “Listen up!” Shepard was standing on top of Massani's shoulders as she addressed her crew, a big bucket of popcorn on her hip. “This counts as 'Operation: Drag Shepard off the Ship'. We disembark in exactly forty-eight hours, if you aren't there then you're getting left. Clear?”

“Yes ma'am!” The crew yelled in chorus.

“Find a seat so we can get this started and I can return to my space hamster.”

It took several minutes for Shepard's crew to finally get settled and seated. Hackett found himself on one side of Shepard and Grunt on the other side of her. A fowl fish flavored popcorn smell mixed with vanilla floating his way. Seeing Shepard accept a popped kernel from Grunt's bowl was somewhat amusing. 

The row in front of them was empty, the Normandy crew having spread out. Her squad doing so strategically. Shepard placed her feet on the back of the chair in front of her as the previews started.

Before Hackett could decipher the air change around him, Shepard had grabbed something in front of his chest. Hackett raised a single brow as a cloak deactivated, a gloved hand near his pocket.

“How do you know, Shep?”

“A lady never tells. I will say, however, that before Jacob dressed I planted a small candy wrapper somewhere in his clothing and you are tasked with finding it without him knowing.”

The female smiled, “You're so good to me, Shep.” Then she disappeared and Shepard returned to her relaxed position.

“I didn't even realize she was there.”

“She wouldn't be very good at what she does if you did,” Shepard replied with a smirk.

* * *

The crew seemed to be enjoying the movie, Shepard though....not so much.

_  
...This isn't even close to factual! I would never allow long hair to sway in the breeze as I ripped husks apart..._

_...I would never say anything that corny!..._

_...“I would never hit on the C-Sec requisition officer! I'm a professional, damn it.”_

_“You did, Shepard.” Tali commented._

_“On accident! How was a supposed to know that putting my hands on my hips was a sexual come-on!” She whispered loudly to the row behind her._

_“Works on quarians too,” Tali sang teasingly._

_“Tell Kal I'm so sorry...And Veetor, your captain, all those marines, and the admiralty board...”..._

_...“You bred with Wrex, Battlemaster?”_

_“No! No, no, hell no!”..._

 

“Just tell me when this is over, Sir,” she whispered as she sank down into her chair and placed her popcorn bucket on her head. “This is the most humiliating and incorrect 'based on a true story' movie I've ever seen.”

It wasn't so bad, though the female lead was a little too soft and curvy to be a soldier as active as an N7 was. Most of the 'facts' were classified so the writers had to fill-in with interviews of anyone that had spoken to Shepard during her mission. 

Hackett lost count of the number of times his fingers brushed hers on the arm rest. Each time made him feel energized and giddy. Near bursting but wanting more. 

Her knee bumped his when she dropped her legs to lean over Hackett a bit to speak with Anderson.

“How the hell did they get it right that you punched Udina, but not the part on 'Varmare' when I had to _”talk”_ Wrex down from killing everyone?! Because I sure as hell didn't sex him up to get him on my side,” she near growled.

Anderson chuckled, “When they approached me with questions on how I freed the Normandy from lockdown...I told them the truth.”

Shepard sat back while she growled indistinguishable words to herself. 

All too soon, the movie was over. Hackett would have watched anything if it meant he could sit here with her so close. The lights came back on and the crew began filing out.

“Shepard,” Jack called. “Want to hit The Dark Star with us?”

“No, you guys go ahead. I'm going home.”

“Pussy!” Jack spat with a smile.

“Battlemaster! I will take you back to the ship,” Grunt stated as he puffed up behind her.

Shepard closed her eyes as she released a silent sigh, “That's okay, Grunt. You can go with Zaeed and Samara. They are going to look at weapons upgrades.”

“But you are well known! You shouldn't be without protection...”

Shepard raised her hand making Grunt close his mouth with a snap. “I don't need a bodyguard. Go have fun.”

“Actually, Shepard, it would be better if you were escorted. I've got to stop by the gun store as well so I can go with Grunt.” Anderson commented.

“With all due respect...”

“He's right,” Hackett interrupted. “I'll walk you to your ship.”

Finally having enough, Shepard crossed her arms and put all her weight on one foot. “Now listen here,” she growled through gritted teeth. “I am not some helpless civilian. I've taken thresher maws down on foot, surely I can walk myself to my damn ship!”

Hackett held his hands out, palms up, in a silent surrender. “No one is saying you can't take care of yourself, Shepard.” He couldn't help but stiffen when she turned her fiery glare his way. “We're simply trying to allow Grunt to enjoy his shore leave.”

Shepard squished up her nose adorably as she chewed on her bottom lip while she thought over his words. After a defeated sigh, she answered. 

“Grunt, you will join Anderson and Hackett will escort me home.”

Grunt huffed, “If he gets you killed, I will squish him like a bug.”

Hackett was unimpressed. “Noted.” Boys.


	6. Chapter 6

They took the scenic route back to the ship. A route that was unexpectedly busy.

“Now moving to the gardens that are traditional in North America on Earth depending on the climate...” the asari tour guide continued over the hum of noise.

Hackett placed his hand on Shepard's lower back and steered her through the crowd. He immediately felt her mold into his side. Unable to resist himself, he moved his left hand to her waist and pulled her tighter against him as they slowly made their way through the garden district and its crowd. It felt good having her against him. He wanted more, he wanted to taste her. To feel her mouth against his as the scent of vanilla....

But he couldn't. It would ruin their careers if it were found out. And it would be found out. With him being such a high-ranking military official, and Shepard being the first human spectre....nothing would stay secret long. 

That was just if the odds were in his favor, of course. It was more than likely she saw him as a father figure. Though his pride wasn't handling that very well.

“A flower for your daughter, Sir?” A young asari vendor asked from his right.

Shepard snorted as Hackett stiffened. “The lily.” Shepard stiffened under his hand. “My wife's favorite is the lily.”

“Oh yes! I am so sorry! It's hard to understand human body language.”

“It's quite all right,” Hackett stated smugly as Shepard tucked the single flower behind her ear after smelling it.

“Goddess bless you!”

Hackett nodded respectfully in the vendors direction before turning Shepard back into the flow of the crowd.

“She called me your daughter.” They slowed as Shepard shook with laughter. “You don't look old enough to be my father.” She laughed harder while Hackett supported her. 

To say he was relieved...

“If anything, you'd be my grandfather.”

He nearly tipped over himself in shock at her words. “Uh...I...” Shepard was fully relying on his bodily support as her laughter made her weak in the knees. It wasn't _that_ funny in his opinion. In fact, it wasn't funny at all.

“You ...should've seen... the look on ...your face!” She struggled between breaths. He looked down at her flushed and glowing face, her eyes sparkling and teasing. “I've never seen anyone pale so much before,” she joked as she smiled up at him.

All Hackett could do was smile down at her as her right arm settled around his back.

It felt so right with her laughing and joking while they walked to their destination. And she was so gorgeous, so stunningly beautiful. Especially when she smiled up at him like that. Smiles that he kept telling himself were just for him. His smiles though, they were hers and hers alone. He was sure his face would hurt later from all the smiling he'd done in the last half hour. Hackett couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled so much, or felt so light and carefree.

Finally, though in Hackett's opinion -all too quickly, Normandy came into view.

“Wow,” he whispered as he took in the size of the ship. “She's far bigger than the original.”

“Want a tour?” Shepard offered.

He did, desperately. If only to lengthen the time he spent with her. But it was still a Cerberus vessel and they were in full view of anyone. “Perhaps another time,” he said as her hand dropped and cool air invaded the now free space between their bodies.

“Okay. Thank you for walking me home and the flower.”

He watched her walk away, his heart beating hard with joy and disappointment. “You're welcome. Goodnight, Shepard.”

“Goodnight,” She looked back over her shoulder with a smirk on her face. “Grandpa.”

This time he did chuckle. Her laughter followed his before the door closed behind her. 

Longing and sadness settled deep inside of him. When would he get to see her like this again? Both of them off duty, not a care in the galaxy...

Probably never.


	7. Chapter 7

Not again. 

Forty-eight hours without word from Shepard. 

Hackett had been so sure that the mission could be completed with Shepard only. It should've been easy. Sneak in, free the prisoner, sneak out. 

What the hell was taking so long?

“Sir, the Normandy is reporting.”

Hackett had only brought his most trusted on this mission. Their ship was small but easily ignored. While the inside was high-tech, the outside appeared only to be a small transport ship. They were currently waiting in another system so they could dock with the Normandy upon mission completion.

“This is Admiral Hackett, report.”

[This is Joker. We've just got a transmission from Shepard. She's requested an emergency evac.]

“What's the situation?”

[ Shepard is under fire. The base she is on is an asteroid that is heading straight for the relay. The batarian colony isn't taking our emergency evacuation broadcast seriously.]

The broadcast continued as his heart sped up.

[Tell the pilot he better not screw it up! The one time I step away to eat,] Joker complained. [She's in Franklin, go! Go, go, go!]

_pssshhhhhhhh_

“Keep monitoring.”

“Sir, that whole system is gone!”

Hackett turned to Peters, “What do you mean 'gone'?”

“Sir, the entire system is off the maps. All of them.”

_What did I send her into?_

* * *

When Hackett stepped onto the Normandy, he was met by Garrus Vakarian and Miranda Lawson.

“Admiral,” Garrus welcomed. “The commander is in the medbay. After returning to the ship, she collapsed. A preliminary exam given by Professor Solus showed that Shepard had been given a large amount of sedatives and that she hadn't eaten any solid food in approximately two days.”

“She was captured?”

“Yes.” Miranda stated frostily. “Had she taken one of us with her, this wouldn't have happened.”

“Keep your opinions on war strategy to yourself, Ms. Lawson. I have no use for them at this time.”

Garrus ignored Miranda's cold glare as he addressed Hackett. “Follow me, Admiral.”

Hackett followed Garrus through the ship. Normandy's crew were tense and looking to be concerned for their commanding officer. Some faces were familiar though Hackett pretended not to notice.

“Through there,” Garrus pointed to a door after they rounded a corner upon exiting the elevator.

Doctor Chakwas met him at the door, likely having been notified by Ms. Lawson. “Karin, how is she?”

“Steven.” Doctor Chakwas sighed. “She broke a woman out of a batarian prison, then went to the woman's base. It turns out Ms. Kenson was indoctrinated and as soon as she had Shepard in the room with the artifact, she sprung a trap. Not only was Shepard heavily out-numbered, there was a reaper artifact actively trying to indoctrinate her.”

Panic seized his gut. “Did it work?”

“No.” Her voice filled with confusion. “The reapers were unable to do it, though we aren't sure why. Instead, the people sedated Shepard for two days.”

“Is she well enough to give a report?”

“Yes, and on a more personal note. I'm sorry about your friend,” Doctor Chakwas said with sympathy.

“Thank you.”

Two days worth of fear and worry lashed out at her. “What the hell happened out there, Commander?” Shepard didn't take the bait and Hackett was glad. He hadn't meant to be so confrontational. 

The conversation quickly moved to the report. He listened and asked questions as she gave him a full verbal report. Then with regret, he told her she had to turn herself in once her mission was done. The batarians wanted blood.

“I'm glad to see your allegiance hasn't changed despite the colors of your ship.”

Her body stiffened and she stepped into his personal space as anger radiated off of her. “I have never once betrayed the Alliance. Not once, Hackett. How dare you stand there and imply that I have!”

Her body swayed as her hand went to her forehead. Hackett quickly placed a hand on her elbow and the other on her waist. “Easy, Shepard. You aren't supposed to be over-doing it.”

“I said I'd turn myself in after I finish my mission. If that's all you need, Sir, I need to get back to work.”

[Commander,] a voice interrupted. [Doctor Chakwas said you are to remain on bed rest for twenty-four hours.]

“I was asleep for two days, EDI.”

[You were also starved.]

Who was EDI? It didn't matter at the moment. 

“I will escort you to your quarters, Shepard. Over-exerting yourself isn't going to help anyone.”

* * *

Her cabin lit up when they entered. It was a luxurious cabin by Alliance standards. There was a huge fish tank along one wall though it was missing fish. 

“I can't keep them alive,” Shepard said when she saw his attention on the fish tank. “I forget to feed them so I just stopped trying. It was nice though...relaxing even.” Shepard yawned as they went down the stairs.

Her quarters were a lot more decorative than he thought. He knew about the space hamster, but the model ships were a surprise. As was the large fluffy pillows on her bed. The helmet on her desk near the bed gave him pause.

“I died in that. Nice, huh? Jacob was kind enough to clean out the...”

“I get the idea.” He was unable to hide the shudder at the thought of that was in the helmet. 

Shepard dropped onto her bed ungracefully, her body too tired to hide the exhaustion. Hackett lifted her feet and set them upon the bed before he began removing her shoes and socks. 

“Why are you taking care of me?” She whispered tiredly as he placed her boots near the chair next to the bed.

“Because I care about your well-being,” he answered evenly.

“No one really cares about me. They all just want me to kill something.”

She was asleep by the time he was able to think of something diplomatic to say to her last remark. 

Hackett instead removed her jacket and gloves for her as he watched for any sign of waking her. She didn't wake. He sat down in the space next to her waist as he watched her sleep for a moment. She looked peaceful like this, her face relaxed with sleep. Younger even. 

Leaning over to her ear he whispered, “I care about _you_ , Jane.” He rested his forehead against her temple for a brief second before gently kissing her bruised cheek. “I care more than I should,” he admitted with a sorrowful sigh as he got up. He left before he could do anything else stupid.


	8. Chapter 8

Some very busy weeks later, he got the words he'd been waiting on.

“Sir, the Normandy has gone through the Omega-4 relay,” an officer reported.

“I want to know when the Normandy comes back through.” Not if, _when_. Shepard excelled at crazy, so long as she's the one that created it.

The last few weeks Shepard herself had been busy which was the reason for Hackett's flurry of activity. There had been reports coming in from all over the galaxy as she got things settled and bought, then installed so they could go into their mission with clear minds and a ready ship. 

The reports suddenly stopped filtering less than twelve hours ago. Hackett had been ready to hear the words of Shepard launching her mission. A mission that frightened him though he knew it had to be done. Especially when word came that Shepard's crew had been taken when the Collector's boarded the Normandy. And EDI, the Normandy's saving grace, turned out to be an AI, not an organic being as Hackett had originally thought.

[Two hours and counting,] the VI rang out.

She'd gone through two hours ago. All Hackett could do from Arcturus was monitor the situation and have the Fifth Fleet on stand-by should something other than the Normandy come back through.

So he waited. And waited. And waited. 

[Three hours and counting.]

He ate his stale energy bar while he stood at ease with the live view of the Omega-4 in front of him. He wasn't leaving his post until he saw the Normandy come back through. They would have to drag him away. His crew seemed to feel the same way as they snacked on their energy bars at their stations. The collector threat was too large, the mission to important to step away for a sit-down meal. Even if their relief was just as dedicated as they were.

[Five hours and counting.]

They were all tired. Hurry up and waiting was difficult, even more so when lives were in danger. 

Hackett yawned, unable to keep himself from doing so. Then his yeoman yawned, his comm specialist... The yawn went around the room, no one escaping its contagiousness.

Pain began to shoot from his shoulder to his back as he stood watching the feed. Still he stood vigilant. 

[Seven hours and counting.]

Pure stubbornness kept him from sitting. Missions ran this long often, but never had the room felt so desperate for a scrap of information. 

Collectors kidnapping entire colonies was something out of nightmares. Some of his crew had family or knew someone that did at a colony that had vanished in the night. 

“Sir! I've got readings from the Omega-4!”

Everyone turned to the feed as it lit up red and the Normandy came through. No one spoke as they watched for enemy ships. Seeing none after several minutes, they all released a breathe.

“Helmsman reporting: Normandy's stating their crew is all accounted for. Some extras are on board. The pilot is requesting an Alliance pick-up for survivors.”

“Request granted. Send a nearby vessel,” Hackett stated calmly.

“The Captain reports that the Normandy has taken heavy damage from the enemy. She reports that she will do as promised as soon as the ship is safe to fly and her crew has been taken care of.”

Hackett nodded his approval. He can only imagine what was on the other side of that relay. Thousands of ships had disappeared through it over the centuries.

Shepard safe, her crew alive, and colony survivors being taken care of , Hackett finally allowed himself to go off-duty.

Sleep came easily, his dreams filled with musical laughter, sparkling eyes, and the scent of vanilla.

* * *

Six months later his worry for her was overshadowed by the incoming invasion. The CIC of his vessel was in a bustle as reports came in from all over batarian and human space. 

Arcturus had been a surprising loss. 

Hackett contacted the Normandy in hopes that she made it off planet as the reapers infringed the Sol system. His relief was short lived when Shepard came into view. 

Without David.

Of course his best friend would stay behind to lead resistance. It was just like him and Hackett had to agree that it was a damn fine idea.

Hackett sent Shepard to Mars to find whatever Liara had found. The transmission hadn't been clear. Likely due to the invasion.

Later, he reinstated Shepard officially, per Anderson's verbal order, and gave her freedom to do what she needed to do to get everyone to cooperate. Immediately after, he began forwarding high-risk missions that were far too important for just anyone. 

Not only did she complete her missions successfully, she managed to get the krogan and turians leaders staying on her ship without much incident. Then within weeks of constant work on her and her teams part, she had turian, krogan, _and_ rachni support. Hackett was impressed. But the salarians and asari were still protecting themselves.

Until the Citadel was nearly taken over by Cerberus. Thanks to Udina. 

Hackett learned that Shepard had lost Mordin on Tuchanka, and Thane on the Citadel after he saved the salarian councilors life. Shepard almost had to take down Kaidan as she tried to stop the coup attempt. Hackett wanted nothing more than to call a mandatory shore leave for the Normandy and her crew, but he knew Shepard would fight it. Until there was a lull in their work or a reason better than rest, Shepard wouldn't stop.

After Krios saved Councilor Valern's life, the salarians gave their support even if it was against Dalatrass Lenron's orders. The asari were also being highly supportive though Hackett was sure Aria had a little to do with it. Now that she had Omega back in her control, she would've given Shepard anything she wanted. Hackett was sure.

Reports filed in on a regular basis once support had been assigned to him from non-human allies. Hackett was given stealth teams, commandos, heavy hitters, small fleets of fighter jets, and quite a few mercs. All looking for reaper blood.

More and more messages from Shepard's allies...

_-Justicar Samara reporting on behalf of Commander Shepard..._

_-Hey you daft old timer. Shepard managed to recruit me for more of her crazy shit. She laughed when I tried to bed her...goddam fiesty bitch. Never been told no before. Off to be big goddam hero's again. Don't die old man. -Massani_

_-STG, 3rd Infiltration Regiment will stand with Shepard regardless of our Dalatrass's wishes. -Major Kirrahe_

Along the way Shepard picked up more. 

Conrad Verner, Jacob Taylor and dozens of scientists, that woman, Kasumi, that tried to pickpocket him at the movies, the support of a turian general Shepard had saved the life of, a hanar preacher, and Hackett's personal favorite: a prothean. 

Shepard seemed to have a way with people, even if they'd been in stasis for fifty thousand years. 

It was an unexpected message that found its way into his inbox that caught his attention. Not because it was highly encrypted and lacked a sender, those had come often. It was the subject line. 

_She has not rested since it began._

Opening the attachment, it showed Shepard sitting at a coffee shop on the Citadel. A datapad in one hand as she spoke with an asari matriarch. The next showed Shepard after she'd found Leviathan. Another and another. Each one showing a more tired and worn Shepard. Dark bags under her eyes, her smile completely gone, her shoulders seeming to droop with the weight of the burden placed upon her.

It was past time to call a mandatory shore leave for the Normandy. Hackett would find a logical reason, a reason Shepard would easily accept. Even if she didn't like it. 

Towards the end of the day cycle, he did find a very good reason. Thanks to Anderson and EDI, the AI that had heard his words that night and kept them to herself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks. I got the flu! Yucky!

Another Shepard? 

They were only supposed enjoy shore leave, relax, and have some privacy while the Normandy had a few cosmetic repairs done. Instead, his Shepard ended up having to fight a clone of herself. 

An empty shell of a clone.

The clone led with fear and force whereas Shepard led with loyalty and respect. The clone seemed to have a constant scowl while Shepard's face remained calm and approachable. Shepard radiates light and her clone darkens everything she's near.

The two were polar opposites. 

_His_ Shepard had powerful allies. Powerful not only in strength and speed, but in loyalty. The clone had some well trained mercs and Brooks, but it hadn't been enough against the real Shepard and her friends. Hackett chuckled, and a six-thousand credit toothbrush.

Now that the threat was taken care of, the story covered up, and Shepard and company laughing at the strangeness of it all, there were rumors of an upcoming party that Shepard was throwing. Murmurs among high-society circles, then so on and so forth as the words spread like a wildfire.

Hackett, though having received an invitation, was glad to not be going. Massani would drink enough for the both of them no doubt. And Shepard likely wouldn't be able to relax with her commanding officer nearby. To get away from the crucible and the Alliance fleets would be impossible anyway. He was top dog as a younger soldier would put it.

* * *

Thessia had been a disaster. Had the asari came forward just days before then the entire war could have already been won. Instead, they had kept the beacon hidden and now their own planet had fallen. 

Arrogance, secrecy, and pride had cost them millions of lives.

Hackett knew Shepard couldn't win every battle or complete every mission, but this one would have been the biggest victory yet. Judging by the 'Shepard Updates' from EDI, Shepard knew it too. 

She wasn't sleeping, barely eating, and her mood was the most sour he'd ever seen. David was even concerned enough to ask Joker to keep an eye on her. A statement, that once voiced to the commander, seemed to reinforce Shepard's crumbling resolve. 

She still had unwavering support, even if for a moment she forgot.

For that Hackett was thankful.

* * *

Sanctuary turned out to be another horrible nightmare. The images accompanying Shepard's report were graphic and disturbing. He'd had to turn off the datapad several times and calm his stomach before he could continue. And this gore was something Shepard had been seeing since the beginning. Had it affected her the same way?

The only good thing that came from that facility was Miranda Lawson. The ex-cerberus agent had planted a tracking device on Kai Leng before he escaped with the data Shepard had been after. And because of Ms. Lawson's loyalty to Shepard, and Shepard's saving the life of her sister...again, Ms. Lawson pledged Shepard her support.

That support was turning out to be a huge asset. 

Now they were winning the war against Cerberus. The next step would likely gain the attention of the reapers, but it would need to be done regardless.

Admiral Kohoku's memory would be with him through this coming fight.


	10. Chapter 10

Hackett listened attentively to Shepard's comms as she and her squad made their way through the base. Every order and every shocked word came through to him as he conducted the battle in front of him.

Finding out that EDI had been the VI on the moon that Hackett had asked Shepard to destroy made him feel horrible. A VI that became self-aware only to fight for their life before they'd been shut down.

He sent an apology to EDI only for her to reply immediately.

–

_No apology is necessary, Admiral. I was a threat that had to be dealt with. I do not hold any ill-will to you or the commander for doing what you needed to do to preserve the lives of innocent men and women._

_-EDI_

–

Their joyful victory over Cerberus quickly turned to fear as the Prothean VI gave them the news. The Citadel had been taken hostage by the reapers and they were moving it to the Sol system.

It was time to take the war home. 

Hackett sent the information out to all of humanities allies, new and old.

* * *

The last time he was entering the Normandy, it was because of the covert mission he'd sent Shepard alone on. Now though, it was to address the fleets of the galaxy.

Shepard stepped aside and gave him her place in front of the galaxy map as EDI brought up the communications. His words were brief but heartfelt as he stood as humanities leader. Once he was done addressing their allies, he turned stepped down and turned to Shepard.

“Commander, might I have a moment of your time?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Hackett followed Shepard into the elevator. 

There were moments in the last few days were he thought he might back out, but if he didn't do it now he may never get another chance.

When the door to her cabin closed behind him, he nearly turned around and left.

“What did you need, Admiral?” Shepard asked as she stood at ease.

Removing his hat and placing it on the desk, he spoke. “In privacy you can call me Steven.” Her brow raised as he began unbuttoning the collar of his uniform. He began speaking softly. “The first time I ever saw you, before I knew your name, you were in civilian clothes. You'd been running through a park in Vancouver when you saw an elderly lady having difficulty. You stopped and helped her.”

“I don't understand what this...”

Hackett held his hand up for her to stop speaking. “The next day I saw you again as I was enjoying my coffee. I had thought it a one-time thing, but this time it was a different person that you stopped and helped. I thought to myself, 'Why would a young woman intent on running constantly stop and give aid to a stranger?' It was some weeks later that I found out.”

Hackett turned to face her fully as he continued. “You were the hero of the Skylian Blitz. When they asked you why you continued to help victims long after your relief had come, you said: _Either help pass out water or get the hell out of the way._ ” Hackett smiled. “Then you said, _You don't need a reason to help someone._ ”

“Sir...Steven, I don't understand why you're telling me this.”

He ignored the question in her gaze as he fully removed his jacket and hung it on the chair in front of her terminal. “Since that first day in the park, I've never even looked at another woman.” With one last cleansing breath, he stood directly in front of her and lay his dogtags on top of his standard issue t-shirt. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open before her fingers were bringing the tags closer for better inspection.

Her mouth opened and closed several times before she whispered shakily, “Steven, why are you wearing my charred dogtags?”


	11. Chapter 11

The time of fearfulness was over. This could very well be the last time he sees her, for either of them could die come morning.

“I watched you and your career grow into this massive, awe inspiring story. One that died briefly over Alchera.” He wiped a tear from her cheek as he spoke. “I died when you did. You, for all these years, had been my sun. David brought these tags to me himself.”

“But...Liara...” her voice cracked.

“She brought you the pair I had made for your memorial.” When she looked up at him, her eyes were filled with tears and confusion. “When David told me you were being brought back, I began to hope. With every holo Liara sent me, I began to dream again.” He paused when it looked like she would speak, only nothing came from her lips. “I should've approached you when you became a Spectre. I've made many excuses as to why it wouldn't be a good idea.”

The space between them disappeared as he gently pulled her to him. “You can turn me away and I will go. I will become your commanding officer once more and I will go into this war with no regrets.”

She blinked up at him, still at a loss for words.

Leaning down to press his forehead to hers he spoke, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you.” Tears began to fall down her cheeks freely. “I've loved you for so long. I've wanted to tell you so many times but something always stopped me. Fear of rejection, of our age difference... yet it's fear of losing you again without telling you that has brought me here.”

Her body shook as he held her tight against him. In several hours he would have to coordinate the biggest war the galaxy had seen in the last fifty thousand years.

“Tell me to go, Jane, and I will.”

“Stay,” her muffled voice called. “I need you to stay.”

The overwhelming joy he felt at her words was quickly overshadowed by desperation as her hands lifted his shirt over his head and her rough, gun callused fingers began exploring the skin exposed to her. Lifting her chin, his lips finally met hers after years of yearning.

The taste of cherries on his tongue and the scent of vanilla surrounding him sent his need for her spiraling out of control. His arm around her waist tightened and lifted as she used his shoulders to help hoist her up where she wrapped her legs around his waist. Hackett carried her down to the bed where he lay her before he sat back to enjoy to view.

The overdressed view, though the swollen lips and dilated eyes made up for it. Standing, Hackett bent over and quickly untied his shoes, then removed them. When he stood, Shepard was doing the same. They both removed their pants in the same excitement filled haste. Then his mouth was exploring her neck and lips while his hands removed the remainder of her uniform and undershirt. 

“No bra?” He whispered huskily.

“I had just awakened when I got word.”

Unable to resist and wishing there were more time to properly explore her, he let his mouth skim from her collarbone to the top of her panties. On his way back up her body, she sucked in a breath and arched under his lips as they traced the swell of her breast while his hand circled the nipple of the other.

“Please,” she begged.

He'd never been able to deny her. 

She moaned when his mouth covered her and his fingers pinched softly. Her hands clenched at his hair and shoulders while he suckled and massaged. Only when she was a near sobbing mess did he move forward.

His lips met hers once again while his right hand traveled back down to tease her folds through her standard issue panties. Hackett moaned when he slipped his fingers inside to find her hot and wet for him. _Him!_ Her back arched off the bed when he pushed two fingers inside. Her walls clenched him tight as her hips rolled to find friction.

Unable to deny himself any longer, he removed her panties fully before shoving down his own boxer briefs. 

“Open for me, Jane,” he whispered gruffly when she closed her legs at the sudden loss of his fingers. 

His heart was beating loudly inside of his head as he positioned himself at her entrance. He looked down at her, her skin flushed and sparkling, her eyes begging, and her mouth opened slightly as her chest rose and fell rapidly. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. And she was giving herself to him. 

“Steven,” her voice breaking his admiration. 

Slowly he began to enter her. Pride would say it was to allow her to adjust but in all honesty, it was because he was afraid it would end too soon.

He held himself over her on his elbows while his lips explored what they could reach. It wasn't long until she was whimpering and grinding up against him while her legs tightened around his hips. He felt her hand slip in between them when he picked up the pace while her other hand dug in to his shoulder.

Hackett grunted when she arched against him moaning out her release as her walls fluttered and squeezed him. Her arms circled his shoulders and her legs spread father apart as his thrusts became hard and irregular. Then it was his turn to moan as the pleasure crashed over him. Wave after wave of joy, love, and relief.

They lay still for long minutes as their breathing returns to normal. Hackett doesn't want it to end though he knows he needs to report back to his ship. Shepard knows too.

“Stay? Just for a few more minutes?”

“Of course I will.” Hackett removes himself from her and lays next to her. “Promise me that you will fight your way back to me. That you will try your best to survive this.” It was a stupid thing to ask, he knew, but it was something he would need to get him through the end of the war. More dangerous hope.

“I promise,” she whispered into his chest as her eyes grew heavy with sleep. 

He watched her sleep for some time before he forced himself to get up and dress. Before pulling his shirt back on, he removed his dogtags and left one behind before returning the rest to their place. When she woke, his tag would be there waiting to join hers.

With one last look upon his sleeping beauty, Hackett took his leave. He had a damn good reason to win this war.


	12. Chapter 12

Anderson wasn't answering and neither was Shepard. They'd been the only two to make it to the beam in the first wave. The second wave wasn't fairing any better on their approach.

“Commander...” he called. “Shepard!”

“Tell me what you need me to do,” she mumbled. 

His heart clenched as he heard her trying to look for the reason the crucible wasn't firing. Then a heavy breath left her before her comm went silent.

“Shepard! Do you here me? Damn it Shepard, come in!” 

The second wave had been decimated, only a few soldiers managed to get to the beam.

[Sir, we found Anderson. He's in bad shape, Sir. We've administered medigel until we can get a med team in.]

“What about Shepard?” Hackett asked calmly.

[There is only one other body and it's a male with freaky eyes and what looks like a self-inflicted gun shot to the head.]

The Illusive Man, Hackett hoped. 

“Sir!” Hackett turned to his crewman. “The crucible is lighting up! It's going to fire, Sir!”

“Shepard...,” he breathed. Immediately he gave the order to leave the system. It wasn't an order he wanted to give while Shepard was there somewhere, but it was an order he had to give. “Get us out of here, Oaklan.”

“Aye, Sir!”

With a heavy heart and a rolling stomach, he left her behind.

* * *

Hackett gave the order to return as soon as they got the all clear.

“Save as many as we can,” Hackett ordered. The floating piece of the broken Citadel arm seemed to still have power. Hackett hoped they still had life support as well.

Shepard was constantly on his mind. Wherever Shepard was, she'd done it. She'd fired the crucible and won the war that had waged for millions of years. The reaper ground forces were reported to have fallen when they were hit with a bright red wave of light. The reapers themselves floated dead in space, or fell to the earth when they were hit.

As for the Normandy, they'd been located quite easily. Crash-landing on Zorya where the locals Shepard had saved from slavery had already begun to help with repairs. 

But with every hour, with every small joy, Hackett only felt more empty as Shepard had yet to be found.

It was an unlikely ally that gave Hackett a little light in the growing darkness.

[Sir, we've got a Veetor nar Rayya saying he can locate Shepard.] The soldier coughed awkwardly, [And a batarian named Bray. One of Aria's people.]

“Do it.”

It took two hours and a lot of careful digging for them to pull her out of the rubble. As soon as she was free, medical teams moved in.

“We've got a weak pulse,” the salarian stated as a human and turian carefully moved the commander to a floating gurney. “Must get her to Huerta immediately. Possible internal bleeding.”

Hackett watched the helmet footage in trepidation as her lifeless form was taken away.

* * *

As soon as Hackett's relief came he left for the Citadel. The only reason he could dock so quickly was his status as humanities highest ranking military leader. The C-Sec officer that met him was exhausted and haggard, no doubt Hackett looked the same. 

“What can you tell me?”

“The reapers took the Citadel, we aren't sure how. The reaper forces only seemed to target humans. Anyone that could fire a weapon did so.”

“Any news of Shepard?”

“Commander Bailey says there is nothing new. She survived surgery, her pulse is steady, but she is in critical condition, Sir.”

“Thank you, Sergeant.”

Hackett entered the waiting transport, the officer following, and they set off to Huerta Memorial. 

There was very little destruction in this part of the Citadel, well...far less than Hackett expected. Gun fire and grenade shrapnel against walls seemed to be the worst of it. Not counting the countless dead reaper forces that littered the grounds.

“Here we are, Sir. The woman at the front desk can assist you. If you need anything, contact Commander Bailey.”

“Thank you.” Hackett left the transport car and entered the guarded elevator. 

Within minutes he was being led through a packed hospital to the floor they were keeping the hero. From the whispers, it seemed he wasn't the only one carrying a flame of hope. 

“We'll have to take the stairs, Sir. The elevator is down and there aren't enough hands to fix it at the moment.”

“Lead the way.”

Hackett followed up the flight of stairs. There were far less people in the stairwell, though there were quite a few. Some sobbing, some battle-shocked, others relieved. Hackett understood their pain.

“Here we are, Sir. You will need to check in with the nurse,” the asari stated before she waved her omnitool over the door to let him in. With a nod, she turned and began to descend the stairs they'd just climbed.

He entered the door, then another before he came to the front desk. A very highly guarded front desk. 

“Hold for a scan.” Hackett remained still as the krogan scanned him. “He's clean.”

The nurse stepped forward, “Sir, I am going to need you to sign in.”

“Of course, but why the heavy security?” He hadn't had a chance to assign anyone to guard anything other than the room she was in.

The turian didn't answer until his credentials flashed green. “This floor is for high-ranking officials. And Spectre's. Their safety is our top priority.”

“And the guards I sent earlier?”

“They are guarding your charges door as requested. It isn't uncommon to have personal guards outside of our own,” she stated professionally. “Also Admiral, we've assigned the spectre and the admiral to the same room. We assumed since they knew each other...we're running out of space.”

“It's fine, Ma'am. They would be insulted to be given their own space while civilians are stacked on top of each other.”

The turian laughed softly, “That is very turian, Sir.”

“We're all alike in some fashion,” Hackett commented with a small smile. He just wanted to get to Shepard.

Seeming to sense his impatience, she spoke. “Down the hall.” She pointed to his right, “There will another checkpoint before you're allowed to enter the human ward.”

Hackett gave his thanks and took off in a brisk walk. Time to check on his closest friend and the woman he loves.

* * *

The room was chaotic when he entered. 

“No pulse, begin CPR.”

 _No._ David looked at him with sympathy has Hackett moved in behind the doctors.

“Clear!”

Her body arched off of the bed as the electric volts ran through her. The monitor still showed a flat line. 

Hackett watched in what felt like a dream-like state as they continued trying to resuscitate her. Three doctors and four nurses working in a frenzy.

“Clear!”

Still nothing.

With each shock Hackett felt more empty. His energy depleted, his hope burning to ash.

“Clear!” On and on it went for over forty minutes.

Finally, the doctors called it. 

Shepard was dead. 

“No!” Hackett shoved the salarian doctor out of the way to shake Shepard shoulders. “You made a promise to me, Shepard. You promised!”

“I'm sorry, Sir,” Doctor Michel commented softly. “We did everything we could.”

Hackett didn't hear her, not over his world crashing again. Not through the darkness that was quickly surrounding him. He whispered again, a tear falling to Shepard's forehead. “You promised me, Jane.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry (No I'm not) for making you lovelies wait! Thank you for being so patient with me! <3

“We've got a rhythm! Sir, please stand back. Nichols, get on the bag. Hang in there, Shepard,” Doctor Michel near begged. “Just hold on.”

Hackett stumbled back, or was pushed, he wasn't sure.

“Steven, perhaps it's time to tell me why Shepard was wearing your dogtag.”

Before Hackett could answer there was a commotion at the door. “My name is Miranda Lawson,” a cold voice stated angrily.

“Let her through, Peters,” Hackett called tiredly.

The woman entered with a nod to Hackett before she replaced a doctor at Shepard's side and demanded a status report. Within thirty minutes Shepard's heart was strong and regular and she was breathing on her own.

“I don't know what Ms. Lawson did, but Shepard is no longer in critical condition,” Michel stated with tired joy. “She is in serious condition but Ms. Lawson assures me that Shepard will improve faster than we expect. I'm not sure where you found her, Admiral, but I'm glad she's here.”

“As am I. Thank you, Doctor.”

After the room cleared, save for Miranda, Anderson spoke again. “Hackett.”

“I told her everything,” Hackett replied unevenly, his throat tight with emotion.

Nothing more was said as they watched Miranda work. A nurse brought in a chair and checked on David before returning to her duties. David was the first to fall asleep, the pain medication making it difficult for him to stay awake. Not long after though, Hackett began to nod off in the uncomfortable chair. He'd been awake for so long it was difficult to fight sleep. His eyes grew heavier with each blink as he continued to watch Miranda bring Shepard back to life. Again.

“Sleep, Admiral. I owe Shepard a great debt. I will not let her die.”

When he awoke later, Miranda was bathing Shepard. Hackett stood carefully, his body aching from over-exertion and an uncomfortable bed. “She has color again.”

A small smile formed on the ex-cerberus agents lips, “Yes. Her implants are repairing the internal damage as we speak.”

He hadn't even thought about implants.

“When will she wake up?”

“When we take her off of the sedatives I would hope. She would be in a considerable amount of pain if I woke her now. Even with her high pain tolerance.”

“I understand. She will live though?”

“Yes.” His shoulders dropped as the weight of his fear evaporated. “My sister is currently at Shepard's apartment making a list of the damage. Shepard will need time to recuperate before she can join the clean-up effort.”

“Of course.”

“She's also got a few people at the first check point waiting for permission to come see her.”

Hackett didn't bother grabbing his uniform jacket and hat. He was technically off duty though he didn't have a change of clothes. He hadn't thought that far ahead. With one last glance at a sleeping Shepard, then a sleeping Anderson, Hackett quietly left the room hoping he came across a working coffee machine on his way to this floors front desk.

He didn't, but the asari that had taken the female turians place was kind enough to have the hospital being some coffee up.

“Thank you. I understand there are a few people asking to see Shepard?”

“Yes. You will need to approve of anyone allowed into the human ward.”

_Urdnot Wrex – Approved  
Urdnot Grunt – Approved  
Primarch Victus – Approved  
Major Kirrahe – Approved  
Aria T'Loak – Approved  
Matriarch Aethyta – Approved  
Conrad Verner – Declined, though allowed to ask on Shepard's status and to leave one message per day.  
Dalatrass Lenron – Declined, allowed to leave a message only.  
Jack – Approved  
Justicar Samara – Approved  
Kolyat Krios – Approved_

Hackett returned the datapad back to the nurse. “There will likely be more as they hear the news. Forward the list to me and I will take care of it as promptly as I can.”

“Yes, Sir. And, um, there are the two krogan waiting down in the main lobby right now. The others have gone to rest.”

“Wrex and Grunt?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Send word that they are allowed to come up. Wouldn't want to keep Shepard's brother and son waiting, would we?”

The asari's eyes widened before she smiled, “No, Sir, we wouldn't.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in posting this last chapter! I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this and those that have left comments. Y'all rock! Sere-iously, much love to you!

Two weeks later, Anderson was being released. If he regrets giving up his spacious apartment, he doesn't show it. 

“You know the apartment next to Shepard's?” David commented as he dressed in a suit.

“Yeah.”

“It seems that the owners are selling it to return to Thessia and help rebuild.”

“You're going to buy it?” Hackett asked, amused.

“Got it in one. Thanks to the volus, the financial system hasn't crashed. It only dipped slightly.”

“And the suit?”

David sighed dramatically, “I was asked to return to my previous position as Councilor.” Anderson turned and faced Hackett fully. “I'm too old for anymore fighting.”

“Got it out of your system, did you?”

Anderson chuckled, “Yeah, you could say that. And...I thought I would get around to settling down with Kahlee. We'll need a place bigger than the complimentary quarters visiting politicians get when she comes to visit.”

“Is she still going to run Grissom then?”

“Yes. She loves those kids too much to retire. Besides, I think she's molding a certain biotic to take over in the future.”

Hackett nodded, “Shepard will be glad to see her make a better life for herself.”

A gruff voice startled the quiet conversation. “Who?”

“Shepard!” Anderson called as he approached her bed. “Glad to see you're awake.”

“Sir?”

“Come on now, don't go get all formal on me.”

A small smile from her chapped lips. “Anderson.”

“That's better. You did good child. Won the war.”

Shepard coughed as she tried to bring a nearby cup to her mouth. The cup was empty causing her to growl. The men chuckled. Hackett picked the dropped cup up and filled it with water from Anderson's pitcher before bringing it to her mouth to help her drink.

“Reapers dead?” Her voice warbled with disuse.

“Yeah, Shepard. The reapers are dead,” Anderson said softly. “Mission complete.”

“EDI? The geth?” She asked as her eyes began to close.

Hackett and Anderson looked at each other in confusion before Hackett answered. “They're fine, Shepard. The clean up is going much faster with the geth's help.”

“He lied,” she whispered tiredly. “Harbinger lied.” 

“Lied about what?” Anderson asked. “Shepard?” But she was already asleep. “Rest child, you've earned it,” Anderson whispered as he pushed some hair behind her ear. “No one deserves it more than you.”

* * *

Between work and repairing Shepard's apartment, Hackett was exhausted. Shepard continued to wake off and on, staying awake longer each time. Hackett wanted to be there every time she awoke though he wasn't. But she was never alone.

Without proper sleep, however, he was beginning to feel the wear and tear. He stood from the chair next to Shepard's bed and groaned when his back popped.

“Grandpa,” a teasing whisper stated.

He turned to see a smiling Shepard looking up at him. “We're not back to that are we, Jane?”

Her eyes twinkled with good humor. “No, Sir.” She sobered. “When can you bust me out of here?”

Hackett took her hand into his and sat next to her hip. “When the doctor's say I can take you home, I plan to do just that.”

“My poor space hamster.”

Chuckling, he kissed her knuckles. “Garrus brought Alfred to your apartment.”

“It's probably a disaster in there.”

“Almost good as new thanks to your friends.”

She smiled fondly, “I don't deserve them.”

Hackett leaned forward to kiss her forehead before responding. “We don't deserve you.”

A small tear fell from the corner of her eye, “I love you too, by the way. I should've said it before...”

The words halted when his mouth met hers. The kiss was slow and sensuous as they simply enjoyed each other.

“Knock, knock.” A gruff voice called from the doorway before Wrex and Grunt entered.

Hackett sat back somewhat disappointed to be interrupted but enjoying the embarrassed blush covering Shepard's cheeks.

Within minutes more of Shepard's 'family' entered and joined the conversation like they'd been there the whole time. Crew past and present laughing jovially in the presence of their commander. Lending their strength to her as she regained her own. 

Looking down at the blissful woman in the bed, he couldn't help brush his thumb across her jaw in admiration.

“You're stuck with us, Admiral,” she whispered cheerfully when his eyes met hers.

A surprised snort left him, “I can live with that.”

When he'd dreamed of finally calling Shepard his, he never thought so many people would be part of the bargain. So many threats from her closest friends, not that he could blame them though. He'd be a fool to hurt her. 

Yes, it was definitely a future he had not foreseen but that didn't make it bad. The room full of men and women that Shepard called family would now be a large part of his life. He'd never dreamed of having a family, not after growing up orphaned. This....all this, was not unwelcome. 

Just unexpected.


End file.
